Tipping the Golden Scale
by I Will Consume Your Soul
Summary: Athena dies three days late, giving Mu time to reflect on Shaka’s death before going to the Underworld. Warnings: Yaoi, Slash, Mu/Dohko, Mu/Shaka, Dohko/Shion, Hyoga/Shun, OOC, major spoilers.


Saint Seiya: Tipping the Golden Scale

Rating: R (maybe a little R+ not sure)

Warnings: Hyoga/Shun, Milo/Camus (mentioned), Dohko/Shion (mentioned), Dohko/Mu, Mu/Shaka, OOC, major fucking spoilers, naughty words, angst, and my writing skills.

Disclaimer: I don't own Saint Seiya or any of the characters. I don't think I'd change anyone but the way Taurus looks, because everyone else has sexy fucking 80's hair and there are tons of beautiful men! So…Saint Seiya belongs to Masami Kurumada.

Summary: Athena dies three days late, giving Mu time to reflect on Shaka's death before going to the Underworld.

Gold Saints: Shion (Former Aries armor holder), Mu (holder of the Aries armor), Aldebaran (holder of the Taurus armor), Saga (Elder twin, former holder of Gemini armor), Kanon (Younger twin, holder of Gemini armor), Angelo/Deathmask (holder of Cancer armor), Aiolia (younger brother to Aioros, Leo armor holder), Shaka (holder of the Virgo armor, saint closest to God), Dohko (holder of Libra armor), Milo (holder of Scorpio armor), Aioros (elder brother of Aiolia, Sagittarius armor holder), Shura (holder of the Capricorn armor), Camus (Aquarius armor holder), Aphrodite (holder of Pisces armor)

List of Deceased in Hades Chapter: Sanctuary

Shion (died 243 years ago)

Aldebaran (died in Hades Chapter: Sanctuary)

Saga (died in original Sanctuary Arc, re-died in Hades Chapter: Sanctuary)

Angelo/Deathmask (died in original Sanctuary Arc)

Aioros (died 13 years prior to this arc protecting Athena's life)

Camus (died in original Sanctuary Arc, re-died in Hades Chapter: Sanctuary)

Shura (died in original Sanctuary Arc, re-died in Hades Chapter: Sanctuary)

Aphrodite (died in original Sanctuary Arc)

Author's note: Yes, I spotted some couples and jumped on it the first chance I got. And holy crap I'm ACTUALLY updating something. Lazy old me. I've been watching a shit-load of Saint Seiya lately and just finished the entire Hades Arc. I skipped that shit North Pole arc, and the one about Poseidon. Story is set in Hades Chapter: Sanctuary. I wanted to think of a way to get Mu to reflect on Shaka's willing death. I imagined a how would he feel scenario. So, it's in first-person. My original name for this story was Cannot Mail on Holidays or Weekends, because of the three-day waiting period to go to the Underworld. I changed it however when I added Dohko further into the story. Libra being the Golden Scale and whatever. Ha, yes, it was a last second grasp at straws. I actually almost ended up making it '_Der Eisenwolf_'…but didn't. Well! Enjoy my horrendous writing skills. At least I think they are. Onward to glory!

* * *

Saga put Athena to rest in her bed, after almost succeeding in aiding in her homicide/suicide. She did after all, take the dagger Saga was clutching in his hands, and guided it to her chest. The living dead Gold Saints and former Pope returned to the Underworld, minus one detail: Athena.

I ended up slipping away when the first rays of morning started to peak over the mountains to the Virgo Temple. Dohko and Kanon spotted me, but…I didn't care. I blamed myself, blocking the door to the Virgo Temple's garden with my body, knowing that Shaka intended to sacrifice his life. The other Saints tried to get by at first, but, stepped back when they realized what Shaka planned. None of us could stop him if we wanted to. I wasn't foolish enough to step in his way. I knew that my duty to Athena came before love.

The garden we had spent so much time in together was destroyed, save for two trees and a small mound of grass. Shaka died right under those trees! What an irony. Of course the Saint closest to God [**1**], dies under the twin Salas trees that his God, Shakyamuni [**2**] died under. Ha! What a laugh.

I closed the distance between myself and those trees, kneeling on the multi-colored grass. It was a hopeless search, but, I tried to find just one ounce of his Cosmos left. Nothing. I truly felt alone, knowing Shaka's final message went to Athena, not me. There wasn't even a fucking corpse to bury!! He was…obliterated. I figured I would feel better knowing I'd have a body to bury! Fate liked to toy with me. Oh…oh…Fate. I was going to rip Fate's face off if I ever met a Saint of them.

I looked down at Shaka's pray beads. Saga or Shura gave them to me, I can't remember. They were somehow the only thing that remained…lucky me. I wasn't sure how long I cried for, clutching those beads so tightly to my chest I thought they would break.

* * *

Groaning lightly, I turned over onto my back. Muddled thoughts tried to make their way to the surface of my semi-conscious state, realizing finally that, there was a gentle voice speaking to me. I opened my eyes, meeting Libra's concerned gaze. I was at a loss for words, so, I just stared back at him with my own blood-shot gaze. We sat together for a long time in silence.

In all honesty I felt rage towards Athena. She was the reincarnation of a Goddess! So, why did we all have to suffer like we did? Several of us were dead, several more, if not all of us would be dead by the end of the battle. I mean, what the hell was the point? I knew the answer, I was just upset. We all loved Athena enough to give our lives for her. It was our duty as Gold Saints.

God was laughing at me, at my pain, at my entire life, and everything I've probably ever worked for. Why did Shaka of all people have to die? It was a hard loss for all of us, me especially, being involved romantically with him. We both knew that we could die at any moment, protecting Athena! Just because we were twenty didn't mean our lives were any more or less important than those Bronze Saints, who were respectively thirteen, thirteen, fourteen, fourteen and sixteen. Or, something along those lines.

Fuck, I was in Milo's shoes with his loss of Camus, and Dohko's shoes with his loss of Shion a million years ago. Who else? Kanon lost his twin brother Saga, sucked for him. I'm sure they all felt like shit losing someone. Not to mention Dohko who just lost Shion for the **second** time. Why me though? As selfish as it sounded, I still wondered.

Shaka died for a just cause: To defeat Hades so he wouldn't take over the world. The Earth is very important to all of us, it's our home. That doesn't mean his loss didn't hurt! In fact, knowing that he willingly gave up his life hurt all the more. The more I think about it, and wonder what I could have done to save him, to maybe step in and stop Saga, Shura and Camus from completely obliterating Shaka…the more my heart breaks. I brought my knees up to my chest and cried again.

Dohko had two-hundred and forty-three years to be sad over Shion's death. I had a few hours. If it hurt this much that many years from now, not that I would live that long, I wanted to be dead all the sooner. The faster I died, the faster I would go to the Underworld and be with Shaka. At least I'd like to believe that. I bet he would go to Heaven, and I'd suck and go to the Hell.

Libra broke the silence when I'd stopped crying, for the second time today. Maybe it was the third. I wondered how many more tears I would lose before Athena finally died. I didn't think we'd be waiting too long, however. She did stab help to stab herself in the chest.

"Don't worry. You'll cry so much, you can't cry anymore. Eventually…the pain passes." Dohko nodded at me, trying to reassure me in some way. It wasn't working.

All I knew was that, it hurt right fucking now. I didn't care about later. I had all these tears now, not later! Do you think I could possibly think about later?! No. Shaka was gone right now, not later. Didn't someone somewhere have the power to do something right **NOW**!?

A thought crossed my mind: kill myself now, see Shaka all the sooner! Worked well, right? Wrong! I could swear I was already losing my mind…silly me. The plus side to all of this? I was one of those people who knew they were going insane. Joy.

I didn't bother to respond to Libra's attempt at comforting words. Instead, I stood up, walked away in his face, and trekked to my room. When I was there, I removed my Gold Cloth. It neatly arranged itself in the corner of the room, saving me the trouble, taking on its original form, the ram.

I laid down and stared at Shaka's prayer beads in my hands. When the sun set, and all natural light was null and void from the room, I stared at where the prayer beads would have been, had it not been so damn dark after sunset.

Someone, I think it was Milo, I wasn't paying attention to the voice or Cosmos when they entered my room, offered me food. I refused to eat a single thing, or drink anything, waiting for them to leave before tiring myself out with more tears. I fell into an un-restful sleep.

* * *

I eventually opened my eyes, it was still dark. Or, I had slept through the entire next day, I doubted it though, because, someone would have come bother me. My mind was blank for a while, as I tried to place where I was, what day it was, and what time it was. I ruined my own moment of peace, mind wandering to Shaka, and I realized everything wasn't a sick twisted dream. It was shitty, shitty reality, my reality.

Going back to sleep was useless now. I dragged myself up to the Pope's Temple, and waited outside for the sun to rise, it was only a few hours. Kanon updated me on Athena's situation from the previous day, and how she was doing today at first light. I didn't give a shit. I could feel her Cosmos; I'd know when she kicked the bucket. I thanked him anyway, to be respectful.

Aiolia and Dohko somehow ended up waiting with us or something; I didn't pay attention to when they got there, just why they were there. Hyoga and Shun joined us too. I didn't know where Shiryuu was or Seiya, but, I again, didn't care.

I could tell with one glance that Hyoga was romantically involved with Shun…fuck them. Of course, after I stopped brooding and hating myself, I would be more than happy for them. I was being selfish right now. I was in pain, a lot of it, so, right now they could just go fuck themselves.

Milo spoke to me gently about general things, eventually asking me if I was feeling well. I guess my face let on more than I was telling anyone. I lied and said yes, telling him to continue talking.

I spaced out half way through his conversation. I jumped when Dohko put a hand on my shoulder. I dropped Shaka's prayer beads that I guess I'd been clutching, so hard that my knuckles were white, on the ground. "Shit!"

Everyone who hadn't been a part of our "conversation" was butting their business into it now. All pairs of eyes moved to me, looking at me, trying to figure out what happened. I didn't exactly intend to suddenly curse though, it was involuntary…I guess. God was probably laughing again at how pathetic I was. Fucker. I know for a fact that Shaka would have laughed at me if he were here, and then hugged me for my negligence. Apparently I'm "easy to sneak up on", at least when the Cosmo was familiar.

I moved to pick up Shaka's prayer beads, but, Dohko stopped me. Instead, he leaned down, picked them up himself and handed them to me. I thanked him lightly, quietly taking the beads back. I sat back down on the steps and looked at the beads in my hands, mindlessly running my fingers over them.

"Are you okay?" Dohko fixed me with a knowing look, putting both hands on my shoulders, rubbing lightly. "Did you sleep…or eat?"

Of course I wasn't, and hell no I didn't! Anyone who wasn't completely blind could see that. My Cosmo was all whacked out, so, I guess even the blind could tell. My sleep wasn't restful, the hour or two I'd gotten, and I refused food or drinks. All I could do lately it seemed was cry. Joy…useless me. "Yes. Not really. No." I tried to be as polite as possible. At least I was truthful.

Dohko nodded and was silent for a long moment. I could feel his eyes on my back and it made me feel awkward. I shrugged his hands away from my shoulders, leaning forward some. He was making me really uncomfortable, like the silence.

I could feel them all staring at me now, so, I stood up and got ready to busy myself with something else. I stopped when Dohko spoke again, his worried gaze meeting my tired one.

"Let's go find you some food and then get you rested. I'm sorry if I startled you, by the way...it wasn't my intention." Dohko smiled at me, offering me his hand,

I pushed his hand to the side slightly, crossing my arms over my chest. I sighed lightly at the chorus of agreements. I didn't like that. I felt like they were all against me, but, I knew that they were just trying to help. I probably would hurt myself or something if I was left to my own devices, however. I tried to come up with an excuse. "But…Athena…" Like I cared.

Aiolia interrupted me, shaking his head. He pressed the back of one of his hands to my chest lightly for a moment, when he started to talk. "That's taken care of. There's still Seiya and Shiryuu. Go rest."

I bit my lower lip gently, refraining from cursing at him, or telling him to shut up. "The Bronze Saints?" It was a shot in the dark. Maybe they wanted my help or something. They didn't need me to fix their cloths anymore though…

"Ha!" Milo rolled his eyes at me, laughing with Aiolia. Kanon refrained from getting into this whole mess of a conversation. "We all know, that's bullshit. You're just grasping at straws. We all want you in top health for killing Hades, now, go eat and rest! We have a war to win soon."

Bastards knew me better than I gave them credit for. I really didn't care about the Bronze Saints right now. Sure they could create miracles, but, none that aided my situation in the least. I sighed again, making an annoyed sound at them; this was giving me a headache. "Fine, just…ugh."

Dohko walked away with me, taking me to get food. He sat with me watching me pick at the meal, not eating more than one bite, and even then, it was forced.

If anything, I at least drank the fucking tea. I couldn't bring myself to eat, however. Tea felt like the only thing that would probably stay down…for now.

Dohko was more patient with me than I would have guessed he would be. Libra's were notorious for being impatient and somewhat narcissistic. They liked beauty and mingling among other things. I probably looked like shit right now, and was far from striking up a conversation of any sorts, that wasn't basic, yes or no. So…what the hell was he still doing here? It kind of bothered me.

He offered up the suggestion that I take a bath to try to relax before laying down. It seemed like a decent enough idea. He went on to state that I was only human, and shouldn't push myself so hard. Ch, asshole.

I gave him a pointed glare, mad at him for being right, again. I looked away after a moment. I was being childish. Fuck my ignorance…I guess. I agreed, getting up and waiting for him to escort me to the bath, since, he probably would have followed me anyway. He left me there, saying he'd come back in a little while to check on me.

Once I was in the warm water, it washed over my muscles, slowly relaxing some of my stress away. I leaned against the edge, closing my eyes for a brief moment. I must have fallen asleep, because, when I opened my eyes, I was in my room, and the sun had almost set completely.

My small moment of peace died again, when reality came crashing down like a pile of bricks. Shaka was still dead, I still hated myself, and Athena was dying. Great! What a great way to be ushered out of sleep, back into the real world. Loneliness was creeping into my heart, bring sadness and pain with it. I made a small anguished sound, throwing one arm over my eyes. I felt like crying again; my tears ran dry quickly, however.

I didn't feel like doing anything. I couldn't even find the will to turn over onto my side; I just lay there, staring up into the darkness, being as useless as I could possibly be. I kind of wished I was one of those broken minds, and then I wouldn't have to worry about anyone but myself. I could retreat into my protective sanctuary, and I wouldn't have to deal with this one.

That thought made me sigh at myself. That was a bit much even for me. I guess I was never truly alone. If I ever needed help, I was sure the Virgo Cloth would come to my aid, like how the Sagittarius Cloth would come to Seiya's aid…frequently.

Gold Saints were always connected to each other by the power of their heart, or some crap like that. It was probably our mutual love for Earth and Athena that brought us together, if anything. Gold Saints like any other human being couldn't defy death. Once you heart stopped, you died, unless a God brought you back to life. You could always be killed though.

The grim side of reality was that after you live, you die and turn into worm food! Sick. I'll try not to think about that part of reality. It was gross and horrible. I couldn't imagine my every thought ceasing to exist; I had so many. They always returned to Shaka and sadden me further, but, they're still my thoughts. Shows where my priorities are. Shaka, Shaka, maybe Athena and Shaka. It was pitiful how I didn't really give two shits about Athena. I was a Gold Saint for crying out loud. But, I have emotions just like anyone else that were just about as useful as a pre-teen girl who broke up with her boyfriend of one week.

Just when I felt like getting up and listlessly wandering around until Athena died, Dohko walked in carrying a tray with dinner and wine. I stared at him through the dark, our eyes meeting once. He looked away first, setting down the tray, lighting some candles.

He greeted me when he was done, asking me normal questions. How'd you sleep? How are you feeling? Are you hungry? Etc…etc. I ended up only answering one of the questions. My silence and unwillingness to cooperate was received with a frown. He offered me a glass of wine as a truce, hoping I would answer the rest of the questions. I conceded, taking the wine.

Dohko pulled up a chair, offering me the food. I refused him, and he put it back down on the table, hoping to offer it to me again later. He barely drank, watching me do it instead. He kept me entertained with stories of his 243 years. He even got me to laugh once, it was more of a snicker, but, it was better than nothing. When the wine was gone, so were his stories.

I refused the offer of him going to get another bottle of wine. I didn't drink very often, so, this was even a bit much for me. I glanced over at my untouched dinner. I shifted on the bed, brining my knees to my chest, resting my chin on them. I swirled around what was left in my wine glass, the candle light shining through the deep crimson red, when I held it up to the light. It gave off a weird orange color. Libra's armor did the same thing in the soft light.

Dohko spoke again, grabbing my attention almost immediately. "How can I make you more comfortable?" He was really quite considerate of my feelings. Why couldn't I be more considerate of his back? It was probably because I was Aries. Stupid selfish Aries. He lost his lover 243 years ago, he was brought back to life by Hades, and then he died a second time…right in front of Dohko's eyes. I bet he felt like shit too.

I was being really selfish, but, it was hurt. I was never good with loss. My emotions would always get in the way, steering my decisions before I could really process the situation. I could deal just fine with getting my ass kicked all over, but…matters of the heart just escaped me. I ended up taking him up on that second bottle of wine…probably shouldn't have.

* * *

When Dohko returned, I was caught off guard. His sudden Cosmo surprised me, and I looked up suddenly. I expected to see another Specter, but, it was just Libra. I put my head back down on my knees, relief washing over me. Of course, the wine helped too! Thankfully. I needed to forget as much as I possibly could in a short period of time. In turn…this would end up causing more problems for me, but…didn't give a shit.

This time, I didn't drink all of the wine, finding myself better off just drinking some of it, and listening to Dohko talk. He told me more stories until the candles burned down and the second bottle of wine was almost empty. He had a little more this time. Sometime in the process of him telling me stories, and me drinking myself to death, a forgiving rain had poured down on Sanctuary. It felt like a sign. It was the wine talking instead, probably.

I took his empty glass from him, standing up after a long moment, placing it with the un-eaten food on the table. I stepped forward on unsteady legs, staring down at Dohko. I couldn't read his expression, examining his eyes for a long, silent moment. His gaze never broke away from mine.

Technically he made the first move, grabbing my shirt and pulling me down onto his Gold-Clothed lap. I wasn't surprised, dunno why. I should have been. My mind was too clouded to waste effort on things like being surprised or worried…whatever else. He buried his fingers in my long, lavender locks of hair, pressing his lips to mine. I could feel his empathetic emotions washing over me.

He wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me closer against him. The chair protested by creaking, I had a feeling it might break sooner or later.

I didn't fight him. I let him kiss me, and ended up kissing him back. I wrapped my arms around his neck, curling one hand into his hair, pulling his head back slightly, getting better access to his mouth. I thought about grinding my hips against his, except he was still wearing his Gold Cloth. I didn't have to think about that too hard, however. He picked me up and placed me down on the bed, leaning over me. Our lips didn't leave each other's for a while.

He waited for me to let go of him, before pulling away and removing his Gold Cloth. It neatly assembled itself in the corner of the room with mine. He didn't return to me immediately, fixing me with a long, contemplative gaze. Maybe he didn't want to do it. I wanted to know what he was thinking.

I returned his stare for a long, drunken moment, possibly too far into my own stupor to really think about anything while I was staring back. He had enough brain power for the both of us! He could busy himself with thinking, and I could provoke him into hurrying the hell up.

My eyes widened with surprise when his look suddenly changed. I was staring into the eyes of a predator for a second, before, he returned to his former demeanor almost instantly. I reached out a hand, pressing it lightly to one of his. I tugged on it gently, lacing my fingers with his. I turned over onto my side, my long hair falling over my left shoulder, pooling messily onto the pillows, and sheets.

I gently coaxed him closer. My fingers let go of his, trailing up his arm, and across his stomach, resting them on his belt. He could have pulled away if he wanted to, but, I felt like he liked teasing me. He liked making me work for what I wanted, and…that was okay, because, I was going to make him regret it later. He was making the same mistake I was, though. This was all an outlet for every crappy emotion we both felt. I was going to regret this later, and so was he! It was as simple as that, but, it wasn't like we were going to stop. We were both far too selfish, and self-indulgent.

"Lay down." He started making demands…finally. He reached down and ran his right…left…one of his thumbs over my lips, waiting for me to do what he said. He was more patient than most Libra's. He could probably wait a good while, before pushing me down onto the bed and fucking me without any restraint.

I complied, laying back down, watching as he pulled his boots off, before tossing them in a heap on the floor, before crawling onto the bed. I stared up at him, eyes trailing down over his chest, before looking back up at his face. I almost started making demands of my own, but, he did what I wanted.

Dohko leaned down and kissed me first again. We shared a hungry kiss, before my clothing somehow vanished. I don't remember how that happened, but, somewhere along the way, so did his. It was alright because I wasn't the only naked one.

I reached up and wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him down harder than I should have, pressing myself against him. I was trying to get him to hurry up. He really liked taking his time. It was maddening. I wrapped my legs around his hips, arching my back, slightly. My hands wandered down his back, feeling his strong shoulders. I touched his arms and chest…everything I could possibly reach without having to sit up, or move down.

He turned his head to the site, leaning forward and kissing me again. He pushed his tongue into my mouth, sliding it along mine. He pulled away sooner that I would have liked, leaving me too breathless to protest; I would have liked to. He kissed down my beck and chest, hands not too far behind his roaming mouth.

God, I loved those hands right now. They made me forget all of my problems the wine hadn't been so kind as to cover up. Even if it was just for a short while…I was happy to forget things for a little while. My attention wandered away from him, until I felt him spreading my legs wider.

I reached down, grasping his hair between my fingers tightly when he took my dick into his mouth and sucked on it eagerly. I swore he could probably suck the nails out of a board. [A/N: Lol'd writing that.] It better have been a fucking good blow job…making me wait all of this time. I wondered who really was supposed to be the impatient one here, me or him.

It was hard to focus, breathe…keep sounds that I didn't really think were my own from escaping my mouth. My mind would go blank for a moment and I couldn't be bothered to do anything but feel.

When he turned me over onto my knees, my whole, what was left of it, process of though went spiraling away, losing themselves in my overwhelming feelings.

I don't even remember how many times we did it, just that I kept asking for more and more. I didn't want to think, or remember, just feel pleasure. Everything else right now could just…go jump in a fire. I didn't want to care…so…I didn't.

* * *

I think the sun was either rising or setting when I woke up. I noted in the back of my mind how annoying it was to be right in my eyes. It was bright, and I had a huge fucking headache; that was my own fault. As usual. I shoved a pillow over my face. It didn't help much. At least it wasn't bright under this damn pillow.

When I couldn't fall back to sleep, I sat up and tossed the pillow in a random direction in the room. It hit something, a glass broke, and there was a small surprised noise. I sighed, looking to see what it was; Dohko was leaning down, picking the pillow up off of the ground.

I turned over onto my stomach, to get a better look, pulling the other pillow under my chest. I stared at him, reaching out to take the pillow back when Dohko had brought it over to me from the other side of the room. He asked me how I was feeling. In all honesty, like I'd drank too much…duh. My muscles were stiff, and my back hurt some.

Dohko sat down on the edge of the bed, back to me, he didn't say anything. He seemed like he wanted to say something several times, but, every time he'd stop. After a long time of what looked like possible inner turmoil or some shit like that, he apologized to me.

I wasn't expecting that. I mean…what the hell was I supposed to say back? 'It's okay. I understand that you and I had a lot to drink the night before, and the hours of fucking were just a misunderstanding.' That didn't seem like it was going to work. "I know." How lame was I?

Instead of worrying about all of that, while I still had a huge headache, I changed the subject. I asked what time it was, and he said it was about six at night. What the hell, how long was I asleep for? It was like a whole day! I didn't feel very rested; in fact I was still tired.

"Do you regret it?" Dohko was kneeling next to the bed, looking directly at me. He was making me really uncomfortable.

Of course I regret it. I feel stupid for even doing something like that. He was backing me into a corner, and I was trapped. I didn't know if he would push the subject if I didn't say anything to him or not. I sighed, looking away from him. I could still feel his gaze even though I wasn't looking. "Yes. That's a dumb question to ask."

He made a small sound of agreement, shutting up again. His silence was maddening. He should have said what he was thinking, or gotten the hell out. It's not like either of us wanted to sit here and listen to each other breathe! "I'm sorry."

I responded with an annoyed grunt. What the hell was that supposed to fix? We both know we slept with each other because, one, we'd be drinking, and two, we both missed people. Dead or not, I was still betraying Shaka. Maybe…I was the only one who felt that way. He wasn't even dead three days, and I…dammit! "Dohko dammit! Just shut up alright?"

His eyes widened in surprise at my sudden yelling. My bad. He bit his lower lip, looking away from me after a second. He almost apologized again, then caught himself, and shut up instead. He was making me feel all sorts of crap that I didn't want to feel. Self-loathing, pity, regret, anger…sadness. A ton of other things that I didn't have words to describe. Fuck my life, okay!?

"Don't you?" I slowly looked over at him, refraining from rolling my eyes when he looked back.

He nodded. "Why wouldn't I?"

"Because you started it!" I buried my face in the pillow again. That didn't make sense, but, I just wanted to have something to yell about.

Dohko gave me a somewhat confused look. "Why didn't you say no?"

"…Did you want me to? It's kind of hard to say no, in a situation like that! You drank less than me, you should have said no." I sighed. Fighting was solving anything. It didn't make me feel any better. It just made me come up with dumb reasons to blame him. It was my fault too, I knew it. I wasn't going to deny it either.

He shook his head, standing up. He dusted his pants off, and looked down at me. "I don't know what to say to you."

"Then don't say anything. We already feel like crap! So why are…" I stopped, looking to the door of my room. We didn't have anymore time to argue about shit that was so utterly useless.

Dohko's eyes moved to the door also, searching for something, before turning on his heel, and walking around the glass on the floor to get his Gold Cloth. He felt it too. Athena's Cosmo disappeared at the perfect moment, shutting us both up.

This is the only time Athena actually did something useful for me. I just hoped that Shaka watched over her in the Underworld. I waited for Dohko to leave, nodding when he said he'd go find Kanon, and that Aiolia, Milo, and I would go with the children.

I put my Gold Cloth on, rushing out of the room, to the Pope's Tower. The others were gathered there, minus Dohko and Kanon, just as planned. Everyone was ready to leave when I got there. I inhaled deeply, preparing myself for the journey. I didn't expect to live, so, I could only hope that I ended up in the same place as Shaka after I died too.

I made sure I had Shaka's prayer beads with me. He'd be happy to have them back, and…I'd have a reason to feel a little useful. I agreed when Milo said it was time to go. I don't think I felt ready, or, didn't really know how to prepare myself to fight Hades…but, the Earth was important to all of us. Our lives didn't matter compared to the billions of lives we'd be saving.

I took one last look at our destroyed home, praying in my heart that this was the right thing to be doing, before taking off with the others.

_'Athena, if I don't come back…make my death count. Don't let me be useless…or helpless. Let me be strong, and bring peace to the planet we all fell in love with.'_

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* * *

  
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Footnotes:

1-Shaka is supposedly Buddha's reincarnation. He could always communicate with Buddha, even as a young boy in India. He's the only Saint to master the 8th sense, Aryashiki, or union with the divine. (Comes after 6th, and 7th senses. I don't know what those are. Google it!)

2-The key figure in Buddhism, founded Buddhism. Siddharta Gautama, known as Buddha, the founder of Buddhism. Other names also include Shakayamuni, where Shaka's name was derived from.


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